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28 November 2008 @ 12:15 am
You kept me going [I want you to know thanks to you I've come around]  
[Fix Something]

”Take care of Sammy.”

“Take care of Sammy.”

“Take care of Sammy.”

He’s gotta save Sammy. He’s gotta erase the way he feels in his arms, going cold and much too heavy. dead weight. He’s gotta get that kid back. He’s gotta take care of Sammy.

It’s more than that though. He was four years old when John gave him a reason to keep going. A reason and a job and a duty and a life but somewhere along the way, Sam became more than that. It nearly killed him when the kid went away to Stanford. The only way, the only reason, he could do it was because he knew that Sam deserved that. His baby brother deserved a chance for a normal life because there was sure no way in hell Dean was going to get one. He can’t stand this though. He can’t stand Sam dead on a stained mattress and he can’t stand the bloodstain on the back seat. He can’t deal with any of that, no if there’s a way to fix it and Dean knows exactly how to make this all go away.

He’s desperate and everyone knows it so he’s not surprised when he doesn’t get ten years and really, he doesn’t care. He doesn’t want to be left here alone but he’ll leave Sam here alone. Sammy is stronger, better, more stubborn. Sam’s got the one thing Dean lacks: faith. That alone will keep him running when he thinks he’s lost everything and maybe…maybe with all the Winchester’s gone, Sammy will just let the family business die. Maybe he’ll get that picket fence, pretty blonde, Volvo and two point five kids.

At least that’s what Dean’s hoping for when the demon presses cold lips against his.

Don’t let me down, Sammy. Don’t disappoint me this time.
Current Mood: distresseddesperate